It was a Sunday and I had just completed 33 weeks on the very same day. October 12th 2014, I have got a precious unexpected gift from god. I was supposed to be smiling and jumping with joy but I mourned and was still without words. The before day (Saturday)night I had dinner and unusually had a long chat till 12 am with mom and sister after a very long time and hit the bed for some deserved sleep at 12:20 am. A pregnant woman will only know the intricacies of sleeping (can only sleep by left side which improves blood flow for the baby inside and other positions are not advisable). Somehow I tried and was entering a comfort sound sleep mode but before I got the urge of going to toilet. It was at 1:10 am. I didn’t want to break the sleep mode but the urge grew faster and I stepped down the bed carefully. As soon as I got down I realized that my water bag broke but was not sure that it was the water bad actually got broke. I didn’t really wish to enter labor with just 33 weeks completion.
Though I know it was a water bag rupture, I wished to fool myself with some other silly reasons with the internet searches. I saw nothing in google; I couldn’t read but just type in the search bar; I went blank.
I woke my mom to tell the complication. She didn’t bother initially since she never expected that action at 33 weeks. She just convinced me that it could be some other issue. I was not prepared. I had no hospital bags ready for myself and for my baby.
Immediately we drove to the nearest clinic. We reached and knocked the door. A nurse came and opened the door slowly (I meant slowly, since I was in such an urge not even ready to spare few seconds of delay and got furiously worried) . She asked us to wait till the doctor comes. It was not just my water bag broken but also me. Those few minutes of wait there in the clinic was distressing. I didn’t cry but kept silence with thousands of thoughts provoking me with thousand reasons of finding what it could be and what next.
And every second, I was very intensive and conscious in checking out for some movements inside tummy. I had felt few now and then movements here and there which convinced and calmed me for a while. Meanwhile, a nurse came and checked the heart beat of the baby. I could hear those horse legs running fast to reach the destination. I was calm. I knew, it was finally her time to come out.
Finally, the doctor came. She checked me and told that I had dilated just 1cm and she advised for a cesarean as early as possible in one of the city hospital which had a good neonatal intensive care. Except the water bag rapture, I had no pain, no contractions and no other difficulties. My pressure was normal. I was so normal. I didn’t even sense anything painful.
We drove to the city hospital for an hour by the time it was 2:30am. The one hour travel. None of us speak nothing. I didn’t want that silence and I asked the driver to play some music. He was a Christian and he played one of my favorite gospel song which comforted me more. I took the travel time to prepare myself for the unexpected happening to react calmly. I missed my husband badly. If he were there, I would have felt more comforted but still I had hope.
We reached the city hospital and I was admitted in the emergency ward. Doctor came and advised to go for a cesarean at 10 am and I was getting prepared for it. We waited till 6 am to convey the news to my in-laws. I called my husband first and told what happened. He must have felt shocked. He tried to act normal but I could hear those fainted words. He had hope and was positive too. Of course a daddy is a daddy.
Every 15 minutes they checked my pressure and baby’s heartbeat. Everything was normal. Since it was a Sunday (cleaning day) no theatre was available so the operation was postponed to 4 pm. I was losing all the fluids and my baby’s heart beat rate also slowed down gradually from 140-138-136-134-132-130 to 128. I was so filled with fear and I felt so lost. I just prayed for my baby and I begged God that I want to see my little charm without any issues. The doctors immediately arranged for the operation and it was preponed to 2:30 pm.
I was all dressed up; went inside the operation theatre for the very first time. Got anesthesia; my lower body went numb and I still could see and hear around. I felt the cut and I heard my baby crying. Finally, my baby has seen the world. I waited all these 33 weeks and I was supposed to wait few more weeks but after I heard my baby’s cry I couldn’t wait even a second to see her. The doctor showed my little charm to me and said “It’s a girl”.
She was beautiful and I fell in love at first sight with her and every day I love her more. She was quiet normal and was in NICU for 7 days. Between my husband flew back from Auckland within 3 days. My tears were waiting to see him too. I didn’t cry until I see him. I acted strong. And it was the moment of breaking down when I saw him. I didn’t speak but cry pouring out all the anxieties. I felt so relieved and comforted.
She is a true angel sent from above. She made my life more meaningful. My life is happier than ever before with her. I love her more and more every day. She is my little charm.
We named her Elsa. I now feel fulfilled.
Now a Mom.